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Erogenous Exploration

Sex is not just about penetration. It’s not just about genitals. Learn all about exploring erogenous zones with your body and fun products in this new blog!

All parts of the body are erotogenic. Assholes can be trained with whips and kisses, that’s elementary. Pricks and cunts have become monstrous! Down with genital imperialism! All flesh can come! Don’t you see what we have lost? Why have we abdicated so much pleasure to that which lives in underwear? Orgasms in the shoulder! Knees going off like firecrackers! Hair in motion! And not only caresses leading us into the nourishing anonymity of the climax, not only sucking and wet tubes, but wind and conversation and a beautiful pair of gloves, fingers blushing!

-      Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers

This passage got me excited! Sex is not just about penetration. It’s not just about genitals. And it’s certainly not just about rubbing and slamming those genitals around in a jackhammer frenzy. It should encompass your whole body, as well as be emotionally explorative and affecting. To accomplish this you need trust and communication. It doesn’t hurt to have a treasure chest of fun accessories to enhance your sensual experience, too! 

Learning What You Like

At Positive Passions we can help you learn to communicate with your partner about what you enjoy and what you want to try.  Our Goddess Within workshop can help you ladies connect with yourself in order to better connect with your partner by exploring your bodies and boundaries and understanding more what it is that turns you on. Couples can attend a Coming Together workshop, where the focus is not only on reaching the climax together, but also on the foreplay and fun leading up to that moment.

Particularly for women, arousal and enjoyment comes from stimulating other erogenous zones of the body, rather than focusing solely on genitalia. Despite what most pornography demonstrates, generally speaking, women want some foreplay, and no, that doesn’t consist of overzealous kissing and massaging a breast or two before moving right to penetration. There’s a reason why porn aimed at the female demographic looks more like erotica than hardcore sex. Those photos of lips brushing the nape of a neck or fingers caressing the voluptuous curve of a hip might seem cliché, but they trigger some pretty intense arousal in the feminine mind and body.

The Erogenous Zones

The major erogenous zones – those areas with more sensitive nerve clusters – are the mouth, neck, ears, chest, nipples, navel, arms, elbows, fingers, feet and toes. Make sure you pay attention to any pleasure signals your partner gives off as you cover different areas.  Any changes in breathing, relaxation (or tensing) of muscles and small moans of pleasure should be noted so you can remember what they like and return to those places later.  Don’t overdo it in any one spot though; spread the pleasure out to makes sure the sensations stay fresh and exciting.  Don’t be afraid to tease a bit by getting close a few times, then backing off before covering a known pleasure zone. 

To help explore those erogenous zones, Positive Passions offers a wide variety of pleasure enhancing toys and potions to help slow down the action and savour the moment as you explore both your own and your partner’s body. Many of these products have sensuous smells and flavours, adding a little spice (or sugar!) to your relationship. Our wide selection of edible and sweet tasting enhancers encourages exploration with your lips and tongue, not just your hands.

Tickling and Tingling

A light touch can trigger both intense arousal and soothing relaxation, so a little tickling is a good place to start. We’re not talking pee-your-pants tickling; more like a feather-light touch grazing over your partner’s neck, back, arms, thighs, pelvic area and chest. Kama Sutra Honeydust is a flavoured powder that you apply lightly with a feather applicator and then ideally proceed to remove with your tongue.  If you’re not big on flavoured products or need to avoid sugars, a simple Feather Tickler (or even a Hair or Rubber Whip used with a light touch) will do the trick, too. Another fun option is Chocolate Body Paints.  They allow you to get creative with your partner and have fun cleaning up after, too!

Kama Sutra also makes a variety of skin tingling potions including warming and tingling products like Oil of Love and Pleasure Balm. Like their Intensifying Gels or O My’s Clitoral Pleasure Gel, these potions awaken your nerve endings, but are meant for use all over the body. Try a dab on the sides of your partner’s neck or the bend of their elbow to heat things up. Again, these products smell and taste great. Nipple Nibbler is another big player in this arena. As the name suggests, it is made to stimulate and sensitize your nipples, but it’s also become a popular lip balm. A word of warning, though, this one can be a bit too strong for more sensitive parts of your body and could cause irritation.

Erotic Massage

Intensifying things isn’t the only way to go; sometimes a soothing massage can be just the trick to get the pleasure centres going. A good massage lets you get to know your lover’s body from head to toe. Massage oils are the popular way to go, especially natural oils, rather than petroleum based ones. Earthly Body Hemp Seed Oils are made with 100% natural ingredients and fragrances. My personal favourite oil is Kama Sutra’s Sweet Almond; it has a natural scent that isn’t overpowering. Massage Candles help set the mood with romantic lighting and pourable “wax” that melts into warm massage oil at a safe, low temperature.

Returning to the potential for oral pleasures in those erogenous zones, some of these Candles and Massage Bars both offer an edible option with their cocoa butter and hemp seed oil bases. While you massage, be sure to pay attention to the backs of the knees, chest and hips, teasing near those high pleasure areas. Don’t underestimate the power of the ear massage or nibble either! Remember, a light touch is key – you’re stimulating skin and getting the blood flowing, not beating out knots.

If you need a guideline for how to give an erotic massage, you can pick up instructional books or DVDs such as The Joy of Erotic Massage or Male Erotic Massage: A Guide to Sex and Spirit.

Variety: The Spice Of Life

With so many products, it can be hard to know what’s right for you.  In our boutique, you can try demo testers of many of these products to see how you react and which ones you like most.  If you can’t decide on just one product, Kama Sutra offers the Weekender Kit and the Treasure Trove, which offer a variety of their sensual products in sample or full sizes at a lower price than buying them individually.

Take Turns

Have fun exploring each other. Make sure you’re always feeling comfortable, safe and relaxed. Mood lighting can help significantly, but be careful with open flames or covered lamps. Some of these erogenous zones can also be very ticklish so don’t be afraid to laugh and play as part of the fun. And remember, these practices aren’t just fun for the recipient of the attention; it can be very pleasurable to watch your partner squirm with pleasure, especially knowing it’s your touch that’s turning them on, so take your turn giving as well as receiving.

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