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Let's Learn About Fetishes!

Let’s Learn About Fetishes!

Book Review:  Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples by Violet Blue

Here at Positive Passions we have a bookshelf full of fantastic reads. Sexual topic and technique books? We’ve got them. Erotic stories? We have heterosexual, lesbian, and gay anthologies.  Cookbooks? Yes, aphrodisiac ones! Last week I picked up Violet Blue’s Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples out of sheer curiosity and found it full of excellent suggestions, ideas, and advice.

What I enjoyed about Fetish Sex:

Violet Blue has a very broad spectrum of what she considers fetishes.  In the introduction she says that this book is written for “the fetishist, for their lovers, for anyone who wants to make a fetish into a sex toy,” and for anyone trying to figure out if they have a fetish.  Also a great read for people who don’t have fetishes but want to expand their sexual repertoire and imagination.

This books very readable, and not medicalized or psychologized . Violet Blue celebrates the idea that humans are creatures of imagination, and that fantasy and erotic thoughts play an incredibly important role in many people’s sexual lives.  She doesn’t negatively portray fetishes as bizarre or deviant, and, unlike many members of the medical community, she considers as a fetish anything and everything from liking big breasts or curved penises to more stereotypical fetishes like leather clothing or role-playing particular scenarios.

So what’s a fetish? On pg. 9 Violet Blue says, “A fetish is placing greater meaning on something than it might have to someone else.” A sexual fetish is something that has a deeper erotic value for a particular person than it does for another, and is often required or desired by the fetishist for a truly satisfying sexual release. This idea is very inclusive and non-judgemental, and reassures people that it is ok to regularly fantasize about a particular body part, scenario situation, etc.

I found it personally interesting since I don’t consider myself to have a fetish, but the book let me realize that I do have particular fantasies that could be fun to turn into regular aspects of my sex life. Even if I don’t have a particular fetish that I require for sexual gratification, I can use the tips, tools, and conversation starters Violet Blue presents to start my partner and I talking about things I fantasize about or think would be fun to try, but am afraid that someone else would find strange or kinky.  The book reassures readers that their fantasies and particular sexual interests are nothing to be ashamed of, and encourages partners to have an open mind about fetishes and fantasies. I feel like I will be able to be a more open lover and better communicator because of many of the ideas I encountered in this book.

Topics by Chapter

Violet Blue’s 11 chapters discuss:

* What is a fetish?

* How to start talking to your lover about your fetish

* Tips for successfully sharing your fetish with your partner
* Tips for how you can enjoy a fetish your partner has
* How to role-play a scene with your lover
* Fetish Sex Rules, including having safer sex, using protection, ensuring you have consent, how to discuss concerns

Chapters that discuss specific fetishes and ideas for how to enjoy them as fantasies and as part of your sexual repertoire with a partner include:

Ch. 5 – all about fetish dressing  & clothing (leather, corsets, panties, gloves, etc)

Ch. 6 – all about human animals (pony, dog or cat play, etc)

Ch. 7 – cross dressing and sissy play (forced effeminate behaviour, etc)

Ch. 8 – medical play, adult babies & caregivers

Ch. 9 – body / body function fetishes (breasts, penises, legs, feet, urination, feces, etc)

Extra Nice Touch – erotic short stories by Thomas Roche!

Interspersed throughout the book are erotic short stories involving the fetishes discussed! Great stories to read with your lover to introduce them to the idea of fetish play, get you both turned on, and give you suggestions about how to begin a scene or what to do!

Stories: Mother Superior, Nurse’s Duties, Job Interview, Good Dog, Girls’ School, Everything That Ails You, Panty Tease


Visit us to pick up your own copy of Fetish Sex in the store, or purchase it online!


By Lana

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