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This Halloween, Celebrate your Sexual Nature!

In my view, the problem with ‘sexy’ Halloween costumes is not that it becomes commonplace for female identified folks to show some skin. Rather, it’s the conflict inherent in dressing like a ‘slut’ and trying not to be devalued for being sexual; it’s the idea that as a woman, you can’t really win: you are judged whether you make the choice to display your body or not. Much more has been said about the sexism in a lot of Halloween costumes; though it makes my feminist blood boil to see costumes like Anita Bribe (the sexy cop) next to a realistic police uniform for her male counterpart, I want to talk instead about how to take these bizarre gendered expectations and flip the script, allowing a sex positive, expressive Halloween.

Number one: embrace the magic in the air. This is a mystical time of year, where we can let our imaginations run wild, where roleplay comes naturally, where crisp autumn air makes us feel a little more alive and a little more attuned to natural, primal urges. You don’t need a costume or a party to make use of these energies; get naked, dance alone or with your partner, burn a candle, spread and nibble some honey dust, experiment with a blindfold or whatever may be new to you. Play vital, haunting music for a different, pulse-pounding encounter.

Number two: Feel free in choosing your costume – it may seem obvious, but be what YOU want to be. Feel free to cover up, and just know how damn sexy you are underneath your bulky frog costume! Be terrifying, or be adorable, if that’s what expressing your true self feels like for you. Societal pressures be damned!

But if you do dig sexy costumes, choose a costume that celebrates your sexuality and your sexual agency, not something that makes you feel like an object or a commodity. There’s no reason to play into oppressive standards on something that is supposed to be a fun, adventurous night. And if you can’t find a costume on a shelf that reflects a vibrant, active sexuality – get creative! This is your body. Love it. Love the pleasure it allows you to feel.

No matter what, remember that costumes do not equal consent – your body has a right to be respected regardless of how much skin is visible. Dress for how you want to look and feel; if part of that choice for you involves dressing for a partner, celebrate the way you want to feel together. Love your relationship and this chance try on a new persona – just for a night.

Number three: let your inhibitions go! Obviously, be safe, be communicative, and make consent a constant and enticing part of your play, no matter what that play may be. Halloween can be time to try on new roles, new attitudes, and to release your shyness and insecurities into the wind - let your inner goddess, your sensual vampire or powerful witch take over!

Each of us has a sexual, mystical flame waiting to be lit. Embrace it. Embrace pleasure and magic. Happy Halloween!

- Jess

Above image not ours, and is found here: http://www.deviantart.com/art/The-Witch-Halloween-makeup-330166793

Jessica says

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posted on: June 24, 2017 9:16 PM

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posted on: October 16, 2017 3:35 AM

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