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YAY SEX! or...Sex Positivity

The term sex-positive (one that we proudly use here at Positive Passions) is being touted more and more. To the casual observer, it may seem obvious or even redundant (obviously sex is positive! Yay sex!). So, if you've ever wondered, hmm, what does it mean to be sex-positive? Am I sex-positive? Do I want to be sex-positive? Then you are in the right place!


Basically, it comes down to the attitudes individuals and societies hold around sexual expression. Do we view sexual expression as healthy, necessary, and worthy of celebration? Or do we view it as something to be feared, to be controlled, to be chained up (and not in the fun way)?


The former description is representative of the sex-positive movement, which began in the 1960s as part of the sexual revolution. With better, more accessible birth control options for women, sexual freedom became more attainable. With that freedom, women were able to openly claim their sexuality in a way which they hadn't before. However, it is not quite that simple – because sexuality has been used to marginalize women for eons, there are still many systems in place which shame female sexuality as well as any sexual expression that is considered 'other'.


This set of systems and attitudes can be described as sex-negative; as Liz Massey puts it in her article Sex Positive, “In this system, married heterosexual sex is still considered by many "the gold standard" of acceptable erotic expression - for some, it is the only acceptable expression." Sex-negativity, then, is exclusionary by its very nature – there is no place for the gender and sexually diverse, for sex outside of a relationship, for relationships which defy convention, or (often) even for sex for the purpose of pleasure.


Have you ever heard the phrase, “Lie back and think of England”? The idea that sex is not pleasurable, simply a wifely duty which must be endured? Well, folks, that's sex-negativity, and not only is it not very fun, it's far from a truthful picture of real sexual lives and real sexual relationships.


Sex-positivity, then, aims to promote freedom and equality in our sexual lives – wherever you fall along gender or sexual spectrums, whether you like things vanilla or kinky, as long as consent is freely given amongst adults, we salute you! The sensual world is far more diverse than is recognized by a sex-negative attitude – and this diversity is absolutely key to celebrating the sheer breadth, wonder, and ecstasy possible through exploration of the human form. Not to mention that if you are open and encouraging within a committed relationship, you can get to know your partner in a much more authentic, joyful way than you may have thought possible!


As we challenge sexual norms with our love for sexual expression, we change the systems we operate within – creating space for everyone, removing judgement and barriers (as long as no one is getting hurt), and creating a culture where we feel love and pride for our relationships, our bodies, and our selves.






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